I always love getting books and CDs, whether I purchase them myself or receive them as gifts. And I have always been technology challenged. Really bad. I have resisted such devices as the iphone and electronic books. They seem to take the organic pleasure away: texture and smell. Two essential components of enjoyment. But this Christmas I received one of the best presents ever, a MP3 player. I wasn’t even interested before. Not on my wish list. I preferred socks to a MP3 player. Then I opened the little wrapped box and fell in love. Love at first sight. It is a nano. Emerald green, as emerald as the Wizard of OZ. Beautiful. I love it. It is shiny and pretty. I am having fun searching for music to download. There are no boundaries. I can download classical, jazz, country, pop, who cares. And I can listen to NPR…so cool. There are video capabilities, but I haven’t figured that out yet.There is no smell, but I am too busy downloading to really care!

The day after Christmas…It was just the three of us this year and we took full advantage of it. We woke up, opened the loot from Santa, and stayed in our PJ’s all day. We were in our own cozy cocoon. I planned on roasting a chicken for dinner, but we just survived on cheese, crackers, olives, chips, salsa, quiche, sweet potato pie,and cherry pie. Tina’s favorite is the Sweet Potato Pie (recipe from her mom. Thanks Annie). Imani’s favorite are chips and salsa and the Cherry Pie. My favorite is the quiche (grilled onion and Gruyere).Well, the quiche was a hit with all of us. We finished it off this morning.

On Christmas Eve we went to see The Princess and the Frog. It was wonderful. We all loved it. I highly recommend it. There was no battle between the “good” girl and the “bad” girl, the evil step mother was thankfully absent, and the prince had his flaws. Imani loves the beautiful and strong Princess Tiana of course. Tina and I love the fire fly and voodoo practitioner living deep in the bayou. The film’s music was incredibly rich and the story was creative and strong.

We are celebrating Kwanzaa this year. Today is the first day—Umoja or Unity. We are going to visit Tina’s sister and take her a Sweet Potato Pie that Tina made. Yummy.

This morning, getting Imani ready for school, I had a moment. One of those “Oh, crap” moments.

I usually help Imani get dressed in the mornings even though she is 6 and fully capable of dressing her self. I am usually running late. Way late. And Imani knows those moments when I feel rushed. She moves even sloooower. So I help her along.

Well, this morning, I was helping her per our routine. Pajamas off, shirt, underwear, pants….Then I told her, “Put your socks on while I go finish my hair.”

I heard her little voice mumble something no parent wants to hear. “What did you say?!? Did you say I am your SERVANT?!?”

“Yes,” she mumbled with a little smirk and giggle. Then she saw my face. It was a little distorted. She knew she was busted. She backed up to her bed, reached for Ears, her stuffed puppy.She knew she had crossed the line and she was going to get the Responsibility lecture. Which she got loud and clear. Then I handed her the socks and left to brush my hair.

I am really going to have to try to wake up a little earlier in the mornings.

I can’t believe it. Imani will be 6 on the 17th. The time zoomed by. Shocking, really. Times like this, I have a tendency to look back at old pictures. I am amazed at how truly lucky I am to have this incredible little family.

We got a wii for Christmas. Tina and Imani haven’t stopped playing since. Imani stops for potty breaks. They get so involved, they forget about, well….me. What about me? I need some attention around here. Hello?

Right now they are shooting at aliens. Next it is something to do with bubbles. Then cow racing. But their ultimate all time favorite is singing and dancing with Boogie Super Star. I walk by Imani and give her a hug and kiss. Leave me, you are bugging me. You menace. I want to do it again. Can we play again?!?

It is a problem. I go to work humming the songs on Boogie Super Star. Tina stays up late to practice the dance moves. Alone.

Future Addict

It has been so long. I could try to blame it on a million things , but what it really comes down to is that I am a procrastinator and I have prioritized so many other things. What an amazing past month and a half. Barrack Obama and Prop 8. Amazing history has been made. Hope and Change.They could not have come at a better time.

And then there is Gay Marriage. Of course, I think we lesbian and gay people must have equal rights under the law, not only in California, but in the Nation. We gays and lesbians have been willing to accept that we need to wait for our time. We have been told that America just is not ready for Gay Marriage. Just wait. Hold on. Some day America will be ready. But will it be in our lifetime? One thing the passage of Prop 8 has demonstrated is the Queer Community cannot afford to be apathetic. I think too many of us thought there was no way Prop 8 would pass. I was one of them. After all, isn’t California home of “steers and queers”?

Most of us waited until it was too late to act. I commend all those who have participated in the rallies and vigils, but next go around we need to get out there before election day. We can no longer blend in. Pass. We must be visible, vocal, and active. We must become revolutionaries. We must be willing to define our “selves”. Find our “selves”. Be willing to love our selves and our fellow Queer.

We just celebrated 11 years together. Sometimes I wonder how we have made it through. But most of the time I still get the butterflies and flush hot when Tina flirts with me. Just like the beginnings…

Imani and I are searching “Napa, CA” on the computer. She is going to hang out with our friend Maryanne today while Tina and I celebrate our 11th anniversary touring vineyards.

There is a link to Marriage Licences. I say, “Wow, you can get married in Napa.”

“You can’t get married yet.”

“Why?”

“You have to wait until later.”

“Who am I going to marry?”

“Mama Tina. You and Mama Tina are going to get married. And all the boys and girs there are going to say, This is totally wicked!”

When we moved back to Sacramento 7 months ago (has it been that long? Did we ever leave?), we bought a new house. I love my house and i think we are very lucky. We got it for a great deal and it seems to be holding its value (fingers crossed). I know we will be fine because we plan on growing old in this house. My plan is to have it paid off in the next 20 years and retire. If we can tolerate living under a HOA and its CCNR’s. Yea, what the hell are those. Before signing on the dotted line, both Tina and I were fully aware that we were buying into a HOA managed neighborhood, but we were definately HOA virgins.

I attended my first HOA board meeting and was quickly schooled on the fine points of The Rules. Or CCNR’s. I am not sure what CCNRs stands for, but I quickly realized I needed to get home, search for our copy under the tombs of paperwork we received at the close of escrow, and hold it near and dear to my heart. I realized I was braking a few rules. I am not a rule breaker, unless you count being in a long term lesbian relationship, with a kid, and raising that kid as a heathen (not christened or baptized). Well, besides all that…I am parking on the street when I should be parking in my garage. Shit, that means I need to get off my ass and organize the garage. But my worst abomination is my lawn. It is not perfectly manicured and it is not the deep green of those lawns treated with who knows what. Maybe we should water more, but Tina doesn’t think we should have to pay $100.00/mo for water. And there are some issues around conserving water, right?

Well, what I really learned, is that some people are more comfortable when we are all the same. So my goal is to show our own little bits of diversity. I did organize my garage. And I am parking in it. But I’m going to paint my front door eggplant purple (once I get it approved by the HOA) and I put my stained glass rainbow peace sign in my front window.

I can’t really say I am uncomfortable living in a HOA managed neighborhood because I like order too. I like it when people take pride in who they are and their communities. I just hope that when my neighbor decides to put out Old Glory, he or she is fine with my Rainbow Flag.

Blessed Be.

The weather here is wonderful. I am loving it. Cool, crisp mornings and by afternoon, low seventies. It really couldn’t be better. Soon though, I will be complaining abut the endless Summer days of high nineties. We are settling into our routine here. and I am so happy about the food! And it shows. I have probably gained 10 lbs. Easily. I have over indulged at my long time favorite spots and I have found some new ones.

I have discovered Vietnamese sandwiches at Lee’s. Oh my god. Very simple, but very yummy. My favorite bakes their own baguettes and then they stuff them with thin slices of pork, fresh carrot slivers, jicama, cabbage, cilantro, and fresh jalapeño. I always ask for extra jalapeño. The best thing is all the ingredients are fresh and sliced very thin. One sandwich is about a foot long and is only 2 bucks. Lunch cannot get any better. They even have a drive through. I love Lee’s.

During my 4 years in Utah, I lived without Mocha and Pearl. Don’t ask me how, but I did it. Now I am making up for lost time. I don’t know the history of the Pearl. I am not sure even how or where it originated, but it is amazing. This drink si basic enough. Iced mocha. But some wonderfully kind person thought to put these marble sized balls of flavored gelatin in the drink. I love the dark coffee ones. You have to use a super size straw to drink the Mocha and Pearl. Pure heaven. My favorite place is on the Southside of Sacramento, where everything tastes a little better. But….I got Imani a Strawberry slushie with pearl and she hated the pearl. Now she orders drinks–no pearl!